Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there...
Even if you're not a mom to biological or adopted children, but you're a motherly figure or a mom to fur babies, I would count YOU, as well!
Now, let me start out by celebrating my own mother. Here's a photo of her at my brother's wedding last year... she's the one next to my sister-in-law, in the pink Valentino dress with the butterflies...
Here's a photo of my mom and me, when I was about 2 or 3 years old...
As I've mentioned in this previous blog post, my dad is cheap. My mother, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. She's a spender! She's also one of the most abundant- minded people I've ever known! Here are the most important lessons I've learned from her about money:
- Being happy is more important than making a lot of money. My mom is the opposite of a stereotypical Asian "Tiger Mom." She never pushed my brother and I to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. She didn't push us into anything. She allowed us to find our own paths. I took ballet, tap, jazz, piano, art, tennis, Spanish and French classes, as a kid, and each time, I didn't want to do it anymore, she was OK with it. All she wanted us to ever be, growing up, was to be happy. She said this so often that I honestly believed her and pursued journalism and documentary filmmaking, in college. I also double majored in Art History, just because I loved Art, not because I wanted to do anything with it, as a career. I took classes in college that I was truly passionate about, rather than what was required of me.
- Spend on what you truly LOVE! My mom would rather buy an expensive Chanel bag she loves, instead of the handbag she just likes for $30. The Chanel bag will last forever, while the other bag will be given away to friends, family or The Salvation Army.
- Buy quality and from your own values. My mom will examine every item she purchases. She wants to make sure the materials are high quality, the finishes are perfect, that there's not a seam out of place or a thread pulling loose, and she also wants to know where it's made. She will never buy anything "Made in China." Why? Because she'll tell you that "they" don't care about quality. They only care if it's made cheaply. Whether or not you agree about China, it does make sense that if you're going to spend any money on anything, whether it's a tomato for your salad or it's a couture gown, make sure you inspect it for any blemishes or imperfections and make sure you're buying the best you possibly can, which leads to...
- Don't ever make anyone feel that you're lesser than... If you buy the best quality and from your own values, it shows that you actually value yourself. You know, deep down, that you deserve to have the BEST. If you can't afford it right now, save up for it, if you truly want it. However, don't just settle. And go to really expensive stores and don't let those salespeople intimidate you! My mom always acted like she belonged, and the sales people, in turn, did too. In fact, she's been invited to a few VIP back rooms at stores on Rodeo Drive, that not a lot of people get to see. I would even say, practice your deserve-ability by going to some high-end stores and getting very, very comfortable, in your own skin.
- Finally, my mom taught me that everything is negotiable! Whether she's shopping at a high-end designer store in Beverly Hills or she's buying wild caught King Salmon at the Farmer's Market, she will always ask for a discount. She does it in a way, that's charming and from a place of abundance, not from a place of lack, so 99.9% of the time, it works! It doesn't come from a place of "I need this discount or I can't afford it." Instead, it comes from a place of..."I don't need this so I'm willing to walk away from this sale, but it would be really lovely if I had it, and it would be even lovelier for you to have the honor of selling it to me!"
Happy Mother's Day, mom! Thanks for teaching me how to negotiate, to ask for what I want, and to know that wherever I am in this world, that I belong and that having or not having money doesn't equate to my own self worth and deserve-ability.
With so much Love and Gratitude,
