Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there.
For those of you who have lost your moms, my heart is with you, on this challenging day.
Last year, on my blog, I shared what I learned from my mom, about money. I also had a few fun photos of my family. This month, for Asian American Pacific Heritage Month, I'm going to share more from my mom -- a beautiful, amazing Asian American woman.
First of all, my mom was born in Taipei, Taiwan. She grew up across the street from a beautiful beach, and she would spend warm, Summer days swimming in the ocean. She's the eldest of 5, with two younger brothers and two younger sisters. Her mother, my grandmother, is Taiwanese, as far as back as they know. My grandfather's family was from the Szechuan region of China, so they love spicy foods (Szechuan peppers are pretty high up on the Scoville scale, about the same as habaneros). My mom thinks there's some Dutch ancestry somewhere, but she doesn't want to take a DNA test. I have taken one, and there wasn't any Dutch in me, however, there was a tiny percentage that was Iberian.
Now, since this is a financial wellness blog, I want to tell you that my mom is the best negotiator I know. If you haven't heard yet from me, negotiations is one of my zones of genius. I'm really naturally good at it (thanks to my mom), and I have also put it into practice over and over again in my own career and life. I also love teaching it and training people how to do it, with real results! Recently, a day after a negotiations session with one of my clients, I got this...
I'm not sharing the numbers, publicly, to protect her privacy. But essentially, she negotiated 32% higher than her highest rate ever! She also received her highest title yet. If you want to work together to learn how to negotiate, just subscribe below and send me an email.
Since it's Mother's Day, I want to share what I've observed in my mom's master negotiating skills...
First, my mom taught me that everything is negotiable! Whether she's shopping at a high-end designer store in Beverly Hills or she's buying wild caught King Salmon at the Farmer's Market, she will always ask for a discount. It embarrasses my brother sometimes, but I find it fascinating. There's not a place that's too "high end" or too "low end" to ask. She sees every situation equally, and what I have gathered, the person, on the other side, doesn't feel (energetically) that they need to "defend" their prices.
Also, her philosophy is to always ask. There's no harm in it, and the worst they can say is no. (I agree with this philosophy and take it even one step further to say, I believe "no" is just the beginning of a conversation.)
Charm and sweetness are my mom's secret weapons. I'm always amazed, when car salesmen, after a tough day of negotiating and giving in to her demands, will turn to me and say, "Isn't your mom the cutest?"
She also becomes friends with pretty much everyone she knows.
Whether we're at the grocery store or at the Chanel boutique on Rodeo Drive, someone in the store will always greet her warmly, with a "Hi Grace! Have you seen our latest..." What I notice about this technique is -- we're all much more willing to give a discount to someone we know and like. There's a reason many companies have a "friends and family" discount.
This next one's trickier, for me, to do. My mom always examines clothes, cars, handbags, shoes or whatever she's buying, for subtle flaws. I think it comes down to values. I would rather not buy something with flaws, while if she thinks she can fix the flaw or if it's not that big of a deal to her, she'll ask for a discount, due to the flaw. However, in terms of negotiations, the lesson is to find a flaw, or a weak point in the argument, and you can use it to your advantage.
Finally, my mom comes from a place of abundance, rather than lack or scarcity, and 99.9% of the time, it works! She doesn't come from a place of "I need this discount or I can't afford it." Instead, it comes from a place of..."I don't need this so I'm willing to walk away from this sale, but it would be really lovely if I had it, and it would be even lovelier for you to have the honor of selling it to me!" I love this one because people respond to energy, and when the energy feels desperate, that's a turn off. She's got the upper hand because she doesn't need you or your product. In fact, she just made you want her as a customer even more.
Mom, if you're reading this, I didn't have to negotiate your gift this year. They already had a pretty good discount. Happy Mother's Day!
With so much Gratitude (for all that my mom and all of the moms out there do) and Love,