A Saturday Timeline: A quiet goodbye and an explosive death
Saturday, 8:30am PST / 10:30am CST
I woke up slowly, aware that today would be heavy. I stretched, took a new med my GI prescribed, made tea, lit a candle, and prepared for my friend Bret Shuford’s celebration of life, livestreamed from St. Luke’s United Methodist Church in Orlando, Florida.
9:05am CST — Minneapolis
While I was still in the early stretch of my morning, life in another city had already shifted. In Minneapolis, ICE agents shot and killed 37‑year‑old ICU nurse Alex Pretti during a protest of an enforcement operation Saturday morning. Video and multiple eye‑witness accounts show Pretti holding a phone and trying to help a woman who had been shoved by agents when he was pepper‑sprayed, pinned, and then shot at least 10 times. About an hour later, without an investigation, just like in the Renee Good shooting, the Department of Homeland Security, said that Pretti approached federal agents with a gun and an intent to “massacre” them. Governor Tim Walz, the Attorney General, Pretti’s family and community members are calling the official account into question, especially after seeing what truly transpired.A life ended before the day could begin.
9:30am PST — A quieter goodbye to an extraordinary human
I streamed Bret’s celebration of life on the TV set in my bedroom. My husband watched with me, giving me some emotional support. The service began with photos and Bret’s own words on social media… I cried non-stop, but I really lost it when Stephen, Bret’s husband, stepped up with their child, Maverick, in his arms.
(Still image from the Memorial Service for Bret Hanna-Shuford)
Stephen was so brave and did such an amazing job acknowledging and including Maverick while beautifully and emotionally honoring Bret. Bret would be so proud.
At the end, after everyone spoke, they played Bret singing Sara Bareilles'‘ song, “Brave.” She had written the song for a friend struggling to come out as gay. Bareilles had said it was a message she needed for herself, about how “we could try to be stronger than our weaknesses and shine a light on something better.”
Meanwhile — Minneapolis and beyond
News spread. Protests grew in Minneapolis and across the country calling for accountability and truth about how Pretti was killed.
11am-4:30pm PST — Honoring Bret with Dance and Braids
After the celebration of life ended, I braided my hair—because Bret always said he loved me in braids—and headed to hip hop class. I was tired, and my eyes were puffy and red from crying. I struggled to keep up with the choreography, but I kept moving because Bret loved to dance. After class I stopped at Starbucks for a little fuel and because besides his family and Disneyland, Bret’s other love was coffee, and then I went to a new mani‑pedi place. The massage chair dug into my shoulders like it knew where the grief was hiding. I tried to let it melt away my tears and pain.
5pm PST — Two Alexes
Later at home I watched Alex Honnold free solo the Taipei 101 building live. His ascent was nerve‑wracking and awe‑inspiring, something no human had done before. The aerial shots of Taipei were breathtaking, and I felt such pride for my birth city. Two Alexes. One a feat of human wonder and inspiration. Another gone in brutality and senseless killing.
7pm PST — Climbed into bed and fell asleep watching Bugonia
It’s also about senseless violence, revenge, conspiracy theories and conspiracy theorists. It’s also about aliens, and not the illegal kind. It makes me think about the strange kinship of time: how one day can hold both life and so much loss, all at once. It also makes me think about something people say after someone passes, that it can all be with an AND.
You can be grieving AND delight in the grandchildren and pets making mischief.
You can miss that person AND still move forward in your day.
You can be in the depths of sorrow AND still take care of yourself.
With so much Love & Compassion,
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