Over the weekend, I attended a B-School Mastermind with Master Coach, Author, and Speaker Christine Hassler. I can't praise this woman enough! I've taken her Personal Mastery Course, attended her Spring Retreat, and joined B-School through her...Obviously, I'm a big fan! Her integrity is through the roof, and she always provides so much value, and this Mastermind was no exception!
Christine gave us a lot to think about, but here's something that really struck me:
Not having enough time = Not enough self care
Not having enough money = Not enough self worth
If you're always telling yourself, "I don't have enough time" but saying YES when someone asks you to volunteer to make brownies for a fundraiser, then you're probably putting everything and everyone else first in your life and not really taking care of yourself. You're saying that your job, your family's needs and wants, your friends' invitations or your child's school fundraiser are all more important than your health. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and some people are still able to get 8 hours of sleep, exercise, eat healthy and still get "work" done. It's prioritizing what you value, and knowing that taking care of yourself first means that you will have more energy and mental capacity to take care of everyone else. I'm not perfect and definitely have to remind myself of this all of the time. In fact, last week I was under the weather because I didn't prioritize self care over my clients and the landscapers who were working on our backyard.
Now, when you say, "I don't have enough money," it's a little more complicated. Self worth should not be tied to your net worth. What we make should never define how we feel about ourselves. You are amazing, creative, resourceful and whole, no matter if you make $100 or $1,000,000. However, when you do have high self worth, it does translate into net worth. If you don't believe in yourself, then how can anyone believe in you? If you do believe in yourself, then so will your boss, potential clients, and customers. Money is energy, and people may not know exactly what it is, but they will feel that they can trust you more, which translates into promotions, raises, more high profile assignments and more sales.
So, how do we increase our self worth and self care, so that we can 100% with confidence say that we do have the time and the money to do what we value?
1. Start implementing self-care habits this week! Gretchen Rubin, who writes books on happiness and habits, and who hosts the Happier podcast says "September is the other January." September 1 is this Saturday, and it's a great time to start a new habit, like exercise. She says studies have shown that when you pair a habit with the beginning of something, like a new job, a new school year, or just the beginning of the month, then it's much easier to implement that habit.
2. Make it as easy for yourself as possible to implement your self care habit! If you know you need to exercise more, but it's really hard to squeeze in a workout because you think you don't have enough time, hire a trainer to come to your house or work. This way, you don't even have to drive to get to a trainer, a gym or a class. Also, you can't really get out of it, if the trainer is already at your front door. And...if you're like me and hate showering and getting ready in a gym, then this is another perfect solution because after your workout, you can just jump into your own shower. If it seems like too much money to spend, on your own, get a family member, neighbor, or co-workers to join in and split the cost! That way, you have two accountability partners (the trainer and your friend/family member/co-worker), and it's more affordable.
3. Practice improving your self worth by first, telling yourself you deserve to be as healthy as possible. List out reasons why you want to be healthy, like living longer and being stronger for your kids, having more energy to do the things you want to do, health = wealth, and also don't forget even the superficial ones, like...losing weight or just looking better! Next, write down all of the excuses you may have that may prevent you from implementing this new habit, and next to those excuses, shift your mentality around it (even if it's just slightly). Here are some excuses I've had in the past for not working out and some solutions:
- Can't get up early - Work out during lunch hour with trainer and co-workers or have a trainer come to my house so that it forces me to wake up.
- Don't want to be sweaty at work - Take a half hour walk with a co-worker everyday, and then eat lunch together for the next half hour.
- Exercise is boring - Find a trainer and make sure you tell him or her that you really need different kinds of workouts, and a good trainer will make it fun and the time pass quickly!
You get the idea.
Courage is contagious. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver. - Brene Brown
Brene Brown, in The Power of Vulnerability and in her Anatomy of Trust, talks about choosing courage over comfort and also reliability (doing what we say we're going to do and doing it over and over again). Just these two things will help shift many fears because you're building trust in yourself, and building trust in yourself will increase your self worth. When you value yourself enough to take care of yourself, it's easy to say, with kindness and honesty to that request that you know you'll resent later, "Thank you so much for asking. It's not a good time for me to do that right now, but please feel free to ask me the next time around!" And I bet the person who asked you is thinking, "Wow! I wish I could be that confident and graceful."
Then, you can send them this blog post! Subscribe and comment below what new habit you would like to start implementing this week that will increase your self worth! And if you would like to learn more how to increase both your self worth and net worth, sign up for a free 1-hour financial assessment with me here.
With so much love and gratitude,