Although the SAG/AFTRA strike just ended, I know a lot of you may still be feeling the fear these days from war and economic uncertainty, so I wanted to share my friend and fellow coach, Rachel Curran's newsletter below about fear, especially since she's writing about money fears. Hope the exercises Rachel writes about helps. Let us know in the comments.
Right now I want you to pause for 3 seconds & take a big inhale
(Are you doing it? )
(Are you doing it?)
What would you do if you were less afraid?
Have a conversation you’ve been putting off?
Be bolder in your opinions?
Have a baby?
Be honest that you don’t want to get married or have a baby?
Say No to Thanksgiving/Christmas with your family and Yes to spending it with your friend-family?
Apply for the job that you really want but are unsure you would get?
Negotiate a raise?
Leave a job you hate?
Investing in your own self development? What about if you don’t get the results?
You all know what your thing is
For me, it’s making large financial investments without the safety and security of a “permanent” job
Like, for example, booking my dream holiday to Hong Kong, Vietnam and Cambodia
Or joining AllBright, a member club for women in London...
When faced with the unknown, what we often do as humans is create stories in our brain to turn the “unknown” into “known” to make us feel safer
And then we turn these stories into “facts”
Then we navigate our life as if these “facts” are true
The thing is, these “facts” are sneaky, and they are are designed to keep us exactly in the same place
Safe, but unfulfilled
Safe, feeling unalive
Safe, but lacklustre
Then we look for evidence to backup these “facts”
So for me, that could look like:
- A potential client saying No
- A company I was due to work with pushing a start date
- Not being able to predict with certainty when I will hit my next financial goal (in the same way I could with a permanent job)
We then allow this “evidence” to further feed our made up “facts” and give the “facts” greater power
Then this impacts how we feel:
Which has a direct impact on our behavior:
- Pushing down what we want to say
- Saying no to the experience we really desire
- Settling for a job or situationship
And the result is we put off what we actually want
And settle for a subpar experience of life
And with each year that passes, we stay in the same place
Safe, but not truly happy
Safe, but unfulfilled
We get one go at this life...
And I don’t know about you, but when I make the transition from alive to walking through the pearly gates, I plan to be saying:
“Damn, I squeezed the life out of that thing!”
So what now?
Your job is to look at all the stories you are telling yourself about the thing that you want to do but aren’t and separate fact from fiction.
I suggest you go old-school with this, grab some pen and paper, and carry out the following steps:
- At the top of the page answer the question: “What would I do if I was less afraid?”
- Draw a big line down the center of the page, on one side write “Story”, and on the other side write “Fact”
- Spend 5 mins listing as many Stories as you can identify
- In the next column, for each story articulate the Fact
- At the bottom of your page answer the question: ”What do I give myself permission to do now?”
This small exercise alone will be enough to kick start you into looking at your life differently
Let’s take me as an example
What would I do if I was less afraid:
- Travel to Hong Kong, Vietnam & Cambodia
- Join AllBright
I can’t spend money on that because I don’t know exactly where all of my clients are going to come from over the next year so it’s not wise to spend money on that thing so I will wait
There is enough money in my bank account right now to do both and still cover all living expenses with ease for the next 6 months
What do I give myself permission to do now:
Look at real-life flight and accommodation options
I guarantee you, once you have given yourself the internal permission to want what you want your unconscious mind will figure out the rest
It’s powerful stuff to look at the stories we are carrying around, strike them out, and replace them with hardcore facts
On that note…be on the lookout for a postcard from Hong Kong from me next year!!!
Have fun with this one!
Lots of love,
Rachel Curran is an embodiment coach who helps you remove the internal resistance so that you have a frictionless path to who you want to become. You can sign up for Rachel's newsletter HERE. You can sign up for MY newsletters (which are different from this blog post) below. I share extra ways you can make more, worry less and achieve true financial freedom! I also have an extraordinary FREE workshop on November 20th to help you to be more conscious of your spending. Just click the link below to join!