What my mother taught me about money…
It’s my mother’s birthday today, and I love sharing this favorite photo of her and I.
You can see so much of my mom’s personality, who she is, and how she does things in this photograph.
#1 - my mom is both glamorous and hippie-ish.
Her striped v-neck short-sleeved sweater says it all. There’s a tiny puff of (faux) fur at the top of her shoulder, but the stripes and fringe at the sleeves says hippie all the way.
My mom was a major shopper. My brother and I would joke that we grew up in a mall. Most of the after school or weekend activities with my mom were about shopping. We would go to Highland Park Village (the Rodeo Drive of Dallas), Neiman-Marcus or at the very least, Northpark Mall (an actual mall with a lot of designer stores within it). She would often buy new clothes, hide them in the trunks of the car, and then the next day when my dad would go to work, she would take them out, wash them and put them in her closet, as if she had them forever. It was also a secret between her and us kids. A secret I didn’t often feel comfortable keeping, but I knew if I didn’t keep it, an argument between them would ensue.
However, my mother was also a hippie mom because her motto was “whatever makes you happy!” It’s why I felt like I could study Journalism, Art History, Documentary Filmmaking and French at NYU.
She was also very concerned about what we ate and drank. I didn’t even realize this until much later, but we didn’t really eat a lot of stuff that other Taiwanese/Chinese kids would eat. What was more Asian – we never had dessert after dinner. Instead, dessert was a piece of fruit. We mostly ate fish and vegetables, growing up. No sodas, potato chips, or sugary snacks were in the house ever. She also never made anything out of a can or even frozen. She made every meal from scratch. And she was very ahead of her time when it came to not using non-stick or aluminum pans. She was organic before that was even a thing!
She was willing to spend money on high end designer clothes, made in Italy and France, and on good, healthy fruits, vegetables and protein. However, she also did love a sale and would often negotiate the price of her clothes, her car or anything else really.
I wrote this blog post awhile back about how she’s the best negotiator I know. I also wrote this blog post about everything I learned from her about money.
So, the lesson here is: spend money on what YOU value.
#2 - My mom wanted us to always try to look our best
Her hair is done, and so is mine. She put me in a little fur coat. Even these days, when she doesn’t always feel great, but if we are just going to a doctor’s appointment, she takes her time to get “dressed up” and do her hair. I tend to go back and forth between getting dressed up and rebelling against that.
When I was about 8 or 9 and reading all of the time, my mom told me to not read so much because “pretty girls didn’t need to.” I was really taken aback, and I asked her, “what happens when you get older and you lose your looks?” She looked at me like I was an alien child.
We also had books, but she preferred that we checked out books from the library. I love buying books and having a collection. It’s hard for me to part with old favorites. So, again, the money lesson here comes down to values. “Pretty” is subjective. Being beautiful, to me, means that someone is well read, kind, and shines from the inside out.
#3 - Be confident in yourself
I don’t know if my mom has always been confident in herself. I know that she had a lot of boys who wanted to date her, back in the day. However, she has always instilled confidence in me.
Growing up, she was never critical of my looks… even when I had my awkward acne-prone middle school years (6th-8th grade). She always made me believe that she believed I was the most beautiful, smartest and most talented!
Sure there were racist comments and the usual schoolgirl dramas that affected me, but none of it came from my mom.
Even these days where perimenopause has helped me gain a lot of unwanted pounds, she almost doesn’t see it. It makes me care wayyy less about how I look because of this attitude, which is funny because she does care about how she looks and about what other people think of her. But for some reason, I got the opposite message.
Since I believe it doesn’t matter how I look or what others think of me, it has helped me to take more risks and become the person I want to become. As for money, I think the message here is… I want you to release what your parents taught you that may not serve you, and I want you to be confident in your decisions about money.
This Friday 8/8 is the Lions Gate Portal, which is a day of manifesting, abundance AND releasing what no longer serves you. This year is also the Year of the Snake, which is all about (yes you guessed it), shedding your old skin. The “old skin” is what no longer serves you.
So, ask yourself what are some of the beliefs that you may have gotten from your parents or growing up that may no longer serve you today?
My parents fought about money all of the time, and so I grew up thinking that money caused conflicts and stress. So, in my 20s, as soon as money came in, it went out. I didn’t want to have any money because I thought it caused conflicts and stress. However, once I let go of that false belief, I was able to pay off my student loans, credit cards, start saving and investing, and if you’ve followed me for a while, you know that my husband and I may fight about other stuff, but we never fight about money. So, I know I’ve truly let go of that belief.
With Love & Gratitude,
If you want to join my FREE 5 day challenge where we can work on shifting our belief systems together, subscribe below to get all of the details!