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Expanding to Combat Anxiety and to Build Connections

· networking,Guest Post,Actor,entertainment,industry

I was writing the below to those who are subscribed to my newsletter, but I thought I'd share part of it with all of you publicly...

I'm hoping that you are well, and that you and your loved ones are all healthy and safe. ​

​When you read this, I'll be taking a major exam I've been studying for, over a year . Besides the general nerves of taking this licensing exam, I'm also nervous about going to the test center and sitting in a room full of strangers who are all stressed out (so probably immune-compromised)​ for the SIX hour exam. It definitely doesn't give me a lot of confidence that I'll remember anything about financial planning, investing, retirement, insurance, estate planning and taxes. Instead, my mind will be on that video I watched yesterday about how to wash my hands properly! (How did we get here?! At my age, I'm re-learning how to wash my hands??!!)

Strangely, I wan't all that freaked out about coronavirus, and I'm still not. However, I made the mistake of going to the grocery store Friday afternoon, and all of the shelves were cleared out! And the look of panic and desperation on people's faces really hit me. This is what scarcity actually looks like.

You don't think you have enough...of food, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer, so when there is some in the buy as much as you possibly can. It's how our brains work when we're eating too much or wanting to pay off debts or save. If there's any sense of deprivation, our bodies store fat and our minds want us to just buy, buy, buy! It's the way our minds think it can protect us.

When, in actuality, it creates an opposite effect. So, instead...when you have panic about the coronavirus, about your investments taking a dive, or about not being able to work right now because productions are getting shut down due to the virus, I want you to start looking at what does create an EXPANSION in your life and in your day to day.

One way to do to look at what you are grateful for presently.

For me...I'm grateful for my health and the health of my loved ones.

I'm grateful that my spiritual teacher, Christine Hassler, had a free webinar this morning to teach, answer questions, and coach, and her husband Stefanos taught breathwork that really felt like my lungs just expanded twice as much!

I am grateful for the comfortable house I live in, the food I get to eat (even though the grocery stores were pretty much empty by the time I got there), and having the love of my life next to me on this crazy journey.

We took the time to make dinner these last two nights, enjoy a glass of wine (the good stuff we had been saving), and a TV show (first episode of Amazing Stories on Apple TV).


​I want to invite you to do the same. What are you grateful for, right now?

If you'd like to me to do a live webinar (free, of course), to coach and guide you during this time, please let me know. I want to support and help in any way I can.

Now...onto what I had planned for you today...

In every career, it's so important to connect with others. I wrote a blog post awhile back about How to be a TV Producer (or really, any dream career), and one of the steps is to network in an authentic way. I also interviewed a PR and social media maven about How to Create More Meaningful Interactions, so you know this topic is an important key to success, for me. So, today I've invited Emily Grace, a Sundance award-winning actress, entrepreneur, writer, producer and director to write about how to build connections without feeling schmoozy (and while we're all distancing IRL)...

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Thank you Katy for letting me take over your blog this week! I’m Emily and I help women in entertainment create success on their own terms.

No matter what industry you happen to be in, having the right connections is crucial to your success. Without them, your career will hit a plateau.

But, when you create industry connections, do you operate from a deficit?

Here’s what I mean…

When I spoke on a SAG AFTRA panel about creating your own opportunities, I happened to mentioned in passing that I was creating a web series. Afterwards, an actor came up to me and asked, “Is there a part in it for me?”

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There was no, “I really enjoyed the panel,” or “I’m Jean, nice to meet you,” or even so much as a “Hi.” They just went directly to “Is there a part in it for me?”

Needless to say, there was not a part in it for that person. Even if there had been, I was so repelled by the approach I never would have hired that person.

This is a prime example of operating from a deficit.

This person approached me, a potential connection with a current project, from the energy of “What can I get from you?” And since this was a stranger, there was no previously created good will to even out the exchange. We both left with a negative value. They didn’t get what they wanted, and I was left feeling used. #NotGood

Now don’t get me wrong. I encourage my clients to be bold and ask for what they want.

But there’s an art to the ask. Effective communication is my specialty, and the way you approach your connections is the difference between getting hired again and again, or making a permanent bad impression.

Instead of building relationships from the perspective of “What can you do for me,” do the opposite. Approach them from, “What can I do for you?”

When you can solve a problem or make someone’s life easier, you deposit capital into your relationship bank.

Over time you cultivate trust with your connection, and earn the right to ask for an opportunity. Because you already have relationship capital in the bank, it doesn’t create a deficit in the relationship when you boldly ask for what you want. In fact, your connection is much more inclined to say yes.

Building connections with people who can hire you is the most important action you can take. Want to find out how to do it effectively? I can help!

This week I am offering a FREE online master class called, Book The Work You Want, And Get Paid For It.

It is designed to help hard working actors who are done waiting to get picked finally get the attention they deserve from the industry.


Emily is a Sundance award-winning actress, entrepreneur, writer, producer and director. Through her company Pickford West, she helps her fellow women in entertainment create success on their own terms through group coaching and online courses.